Run No 1413

22^nd Sept 2007
Venue: Chamba Valley
Att 38
Hares: Anton, Silver Bullet and Cruella D’Evil

No Smoking, No Cooking, No Road

The dirt road to the hash redefined “bone-shaking”. Even in HM Lothario’s Luxury 4x4, the rutted, pitted 8km seemed like 80km. Half the 38 attendees arrived late probably because they underestimated the time needed, or simply because they always come late (Shevchenko) or didn’t read the directions before deleting the email (Goldfinger).

The well set trail made up for the agonies of getting to it. The walkers trail began straight uphill and kept going uphill for much further than you’d expect the landscape to allow. Combined with the heat it was tempting to give up – if someone was available to carry you – like Karl had to for his overweight pooch, finally sparing us of its beleaguered breathing that had followed us all the way. There was some confusion among some walkers regarding left and right (one being the opposite of the other) - Hare Cruella d’Evil and Nine lives both had differed ideas of which was which.

There were two holds for runners, the second was a scenic hold (praised by Neanderthal) that synchronised walkers and runners and provided much needed respite for humans and dogs. Pelican led the runners on-in followed closely behind by two tiny little boys whose eye level was exactly her derriere (probably giving them extra motivation)

The trail was exactly 8.5Km for runners as declared by Neanderthal and probably about half a km for Moby and Co – who took a stroll around the corner.

The circle was mismanaged by HM Lothario and RA silver bullet. Who in-between showering motormouth hashers with beer rewarded the following for their follies;

Haberdashery
Laurel selling hash T-shirts and mugs for sale

Hares
Neanderthal was genuinely impressed with the marking, views etc and awarded 9.8/10 to Anton, Silver Bullet and Cruella d’Evil

New urinals
Kristin from Canada and Adrian from Zambia

Hash immigrant
Bon Jovi from the Abuja Hash

Excuses galore
Karl had to lug around his fat dog for half the hash

Lifts
Ashleagh then had to fetch the car to give the dog a lift

Sitter
Young Assan got comfortable at a hold

Pissed on
At the hash meeting Nine Lives was pissed on (literally) by Squits’ dog

Cradle snatcher
Pelican had been pursued by 7 year old boys

Boycotts
Lookalikes – Mugabe was Anton, Gordon Brown as represented by Pelican and Mwanawasa as played by Halleluiah

Unmechanically minded
Bon Jovi had a shiny new 4x4, and it took 4 men 10 minutes to still fail to open the tailgate

Paraphernalia
Newcomer Adrian has strings coming out of both ears leading to his crotch

Baptism
Jackie, wife of Beard, will now be known as Bumfluff

Birthday
Newcomer Adrian had multiple indiscretions – sex on the hash and it was his birthday

Milestone
RA Silver Bullet has wasted 50 Saturdays

Public health warning
“I am the girl your mother warned you about” sang Moby Dick’s tee-shirt – a warning to all single men on the hash

Announcements
HM Lothario – Majoru meats would be providing cooked meat at next week’s hash so no BYO, - Wheelchair run following Sunday
Eyes - Hash Blog at lhhh3.blogspot.com

Hashshit
A jury consisting of Francophoney, Neanderthal, Kristin, Camien, Little John and Pelican decided Nine Lives had been pissed upon enough by Squits’ dog and awarded the shit to Squits

Receding hareline
30^th Sept Little Weed Wheelchair run
6^th Oct Cool dude
13^th Oct Blockhead, The Rabbi
20^th Oct Buju, Floss, Wild thing
27^th Oct Bullshit, Little John
3^rd Nov Squits and Jocelyn
10^th Nov Batman
17^th Nov Boy Blue
24^th Nov Cockroach (BYO Braai)
1^st Dec Beard and Jackie

Forthcoming Events
30^th Sept (Sunday) 11^th Annual Wheelchair Run. A fee of K50pin (adults) for the run, hash beer, T-shirts and lunch –cheaper than staying at home. Reduction for children. Please support this worthy charity function

AGPU – date and venue still to be decided, but location will be posh and likely date a Friday towards end of October or beginning of November. This function heralds the election (by appointment) of the new hash committee

On On!